No commandment this time

Since I am the supreme leader of this new awesome religion, I will not only give you commandments on how you should live your Sbaist life, but my thoughts on things. You're excited. I can feel it. The only problem is I have now forgotten what it is I wanted to talk about.

Oh wait.

So I was talking with my six-year-old sister on the phone today. This is what she looks like for those who don't know.

Super cute, right? I know. Anyway, so we're talking today and I go, "So Navah, any boys you like at school?"

"There's one boy who's cute," she says.

I immediately get very excited. "Really?!?! What's his name?"

"S.I.D."

"Sid?"

"No, S.I.D."

Is this making any sense to you? It was this point I realized she was saying "S.I.E." Still totally confused I ask, "How do you say the name?"

"S.I.E."

"But like, do you pronounce it Sie? How do you say it?"

"You say it S.I. E."

This continued for several minutes until I finally gave up and said, "That's so cute! Awe, you're getting them boys Nai!"

"Yah. I know."

So basically, my first grade sister has got a man in her life. Whose name resembles something along the lines of S.I.E. Why I am not there with her to enjoy this is saddening to me. That's my cute Navah story of the day. Entourage is calling. 

Commandment 1) Thou shalt get rubbed. Often.

No, not the dirty way. Take your mind out of the gutter.

As a follower of Sbaism, one will get massages. Think about it, when are you closest to the higher power? When Andy the foot man is working on your feet and you fall asleep? Or when you're not eating for 24 hours in temple?
Andy wins every time.

So this is what you're going to do. Right now. Turn of your computer. Get in your car, get on your bike, get on your feet--and go to the closest massage place. Make sure it's not a seedy one. Sbaism no likeie.

Go there, pick the massage you want, and enjoy. Let the power of the Sba shine on you and make you a better human being.

And after that go eat some sushi. We'll save that one for the next commandment.

Ooo, I want sushi now. And Victor the man who rubs the ass like no other. I don't quite understand why Victor is all about the ass, but you know what, I'm totally OK with that. Things I'm doing when I get back to Los Angeles: 1) Hitting up sushi row. 2) Paying a visit to my favorite rubber at Phoenix Foot Spa. Yayz.