Commandment 1) Thou shalt get rubbed. Often.

No, not the dirty way. Take your mind out of the gutter.

As a follower of Sbaism, one will get massages. Think about it, when are you closest to the higher power? When Andy the foot man is working on your feet and you fall asleep? Or when you're not eating for 24 hours in temple?
Andy wins every time.

So this is what you're going to do. Right now. Turn of your computer. Get in your car, get on your bike, get on your feet--and go to the closest massage place. Make sure it's not a seedy one. Sbaism no likeie.

Go there, pick the massage you want, and enjoy. Let the power of the Sba shine on you and make you a better human being.

And after that go eat some sushi. We'll save that one for the next commandment.

Ooo, I want sushi now. And Victor the man who rubs the ass like no other. I don't quite understand why Victor is all about the ass, but you know what, I'm totally OK with that. Things I'm doing when I get back to Los Angeles: 1) Hitting up sushi row. 2) Paying a visit to my favorite rubber at Phoenix Foot Spa. Yayz.